Origen of the Trinity

Origen Is Called the Father of Biblical Theology

Origen was an important theologian who managed to slip under the radar for a long time. He wasn’t officially declared a heretic until he had been dead for three centuries… but by then it was too late! He was already famous! Origen was heir to both Socrates and Plato and is regarded as the greatest philosopher/theologian of the early church.  He also produced its first systematic theology. It is not an exaggeration to call him the Father of Biblical Theology! Many have viewed him as “the greatest genius the early church ever produced.”

Origen Became a Heretic 300 Years After He Died!

In order to be deemed an official heretic you just need to disagree with the majority. That is exactly what happened to Origen! He was mostly acceptable in his lifetime but the opinions of church leaders changed in the centuries after he died! Eventually his work fell out of favor with most theologians and there wasn’t much he could do about it. His story is interesting because it took the church 300 years after his death to brand him a heretic. There is no doubt Origen had some pretty wild ideas!  He never achieved sainthood, and like Tertullian, he wasn’t granted the title of church father either. In spite of his tremendous influence Origen never won any official honors! Fortunately, he was already dead by the time he was excommunicated so it probably didn’t bother him too much.

Origen Mastered Greek Philosophy

Moderator: Well brethren, it’s time to honor another old heretic who achieved a lot in his life but never quite made the grade. He was a notable scholar and at least during his lifetime he seemed like a pretty respectable guy! His epic work On First Principles developed a foundation for the Trinity based on Platonic philosophy. Even his critics acknowledged that he had mastered the Greek philosophical tradition in his interpretation of the Bible! Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to keep him out of trouble. He upset a lot of people by denying the co-equality of “persons” in the Godhead! Eventually, his chances of becoming an official church father went right out the window.

Origen Wrote More Than Anyone

You all know who I’m talking about! It’s none other than Origen of Alexandria! We thought long and hard about what kind of award you give to a man who wrote so much that some legends say he kept seven secretaries busy! We created a special Windy Award just for him! It’s the Origen of the Trinity Award! How’s that for a nifty play on words!

Audience: Groaning and rolling of the eyes.

Moderator:  Well sorry about that but it’s the best we could come up with! Here to accept his award is Origen of Alexandria!

Audience: How come we keep giving awards to people like Tertullian, Arius and now Origen? None of them agree with our creeds! This is really going to upset Athanasius!

Origen Was Surprised to Be At Caesar’s Palace

Origen:  Greetings everyone! I am so glad to be at this reunion and I’m as surprised as anyone to be here at all! That seafood buffet is sure better than anything I ever had in my lifetime! It’s almost too good to be true. Now that I’m dead I’ve pretty well decided to give up on asceticism, as long as we’re here in Las Vegas anyway. It was just great to be allowed to come here in the first place and then I found out I’m even getting an award!

Can Anyone Think Like Athanasius?

I have to admit I was pretty surprised to learn that I had become a heretic after I died. I was just talking about this very thing with Tertullian and Arius at dinner. Tertullian was surprised when he learned he had become a heretic too!  Arius knew his reputation was in the tank after the Nicene Council so he was really surprised to get an award. It’s a good thing that the theologians who decide who is approved and who isn’t don’t speak for God! Athanasius still says that unless you think of the Trinity like his creed says you can’t be saved. I say no one can think like that! Jesus said no one should!

Origen Pioneered Hypostases and Homoousious

Athanasius’ insistence on the co-equality of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit was based on just one word! Using homoousious to make that claim still seems a bit over the top to me! After all, I was the first Christian philosopher to ever use the term homoousious! I was also the very first Christian philosopher to use the term hypostases to describe the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! Where did Athanasius ever get the idea that his theories were any better than mine?  We had a very nice schematic of God in Platonic philosophy that made a lot of sense to us.  I imagined God as a descending triad just like in classic platonic philosophy! The Father is greater than the Son and the Son is greater than the Spirit. What’s so bad about that? It sure made sense to us!

Origen’s Descending Triad Was a Platonic Theory!

We thought we had a fine theory about God and a lot of people signed on to our ideas. Just because some later theologians disagreed was no reason to start all the name calling! I don’t think any of them wrote nearly as much stuff as I did.  Besides, without the foundations I laid for the Trinity I don’t think Athanasius would have ever hit the big time in the first place!

Origen Gave Thanks to Philo, Plato and Aristotle Too!

In closing I want to thank all the people who helped me win this award. I want to thank my Mom and Dad, Philo, Plato, Socrates and Aristotle too. I would also like to thank the Awards Committee for such a great play on words and naming my Windy Award after me! Finally, I want to thank all the great cooks and staff who put together that incredible buffet! Good night everyone! It has been great to be here!

PS: Some say truth is stranger than fiction and church history is pretty strange. It’s also pretty entertaining! (except of course, for all the violence and hatred that resulted from the creeds and dogmas of our fiercest theologians.) Modern Christians should at least know these things. Why don’t you help them out and share a link to theologyallstars.com with a few of them? Thanks and God Bless.

Copyright 2021 by Bob Shutes

To be continued…

Religion Run Amok

The story of Theodora and Justinian is a hardly known story that reads like a wonderful fairy tale. They ruled the world as the greatest power couple in history at a time when civilization was falling apart. They held it together. As power couples go, no two were ever more powerful; President Kennedy and Jackie, or Prince William and Kate, cannot compare in the slightest. How about Henry and Eleanor (1200), Augustus and Livia (0), or William and Mary (1700)? Not even close. Theodora reigned over the Byzantine Empire from Constantinople as regent along side her husband from 527 until her death in 548. Yet, no two were ever a more unlikely power pair.

By the early 500’s the Roman Empire in the West was well on its way to collapsing into the Dark Ages. Rome’s population fell from 1,500,000 to maybe 30,000 and the grand Forum became an actual garbage dump. Unsavory barbarians demolished civilization in the West. But, Justinian and Belisarius (one of the greatest generals in history) conquered the Vandals in North Africa and booted the Ostrogoths out of Rome, Sicily, Italy, and Dalmatia along with establishing a presence in Spain. That, though, was not all. Two thousand miles to the east Belisarius subdued worse trouble closer to home along the Black Sea by stopping the Persians from toppling western civilization at the Battle of Dara.

Before leaving Belisarius, it is interesting to note his strange life. Born in Germania, he is considered “the last Roman.” As a youth he raised pigs but eventually moved up from the lowliest of military ranks with his better idea. His military success was due to the unique concept of using long range archers with short re-curved bows on war horses to soften up the enemy and then rush them on horseback with long spears. This heavy cavalry of the day is known as the Bucellari. When Rome was recaptured, Theodora told Belisarius, ‘as long as you are there, toss out that pope, Silverius.’ It’s rumored Silverius died of starvation. Belisarius felt bad about that and built a church. Back in Constantinople, his much older and debauched wife, Antonia, cuckolded this powerful general. Eventually, Belisarius was tried for fomenting an overthrow of Justinian, was imprisoned where he became a monk, but was later restored to the court. He is one of many colorful characters of the time.

Flavius Petrus Sabbatius (later Justinian I) was a most unlikely emperor who came from peasant folk who raised pigs. Justin, his uncle, had a similar background rising up through the military ranks to become emperor and took Justinian under his wing. Justinian had a very quick mind and was educated in philosophy, languages, administration, law, and most of all, theology. A gigantic accomplishment of his was to codify the mess of Roman laws into the Code of Justinian, upon which our present day laws are based. As if saving civilization was not enough, he built one of the world’s great churches, the Hagia Sophia. This all took coin, and lots of it. There was no financing, so piles of coin were needed for the wars, the church, and keeping the population intact. Justinian brilliantly expanded the Silk Road exchanging Italian glass for Chinese silk – until a few of the worms were smuggled out in hollow canes, but that is another story. He implemented a bribe free and efficient tax system and shook down the wealthy to pay their fair share, even if it meant torture. He reorganized the entire administration of the empire with a competent bribe free staff. In 536 he had to also deal with the Black Death plague that killed millions, a fifth of the population. The unrealized dream of Justinian was to reunite the East and West into a single Roman Empire. Lucky for western civilization he was a workaholic.

The Byzantine Empire, the eastern half of the Roman Empire, was an amalgam of church and state. There was no church without the state and no state without the church. It was Justinian’s obligation to know as much about theology as he had to know about statecraft. His version of Christianity came by way of the Fourth Council of Chalcedon in 451. The Chalcedonian Definition states, ‘Jesus is actually

God and actually man (the two natures definition) while reaffirming the First Council of Nicaea (325), the First Council of Constantinople (381), and the First Council of Ephesus (431) in that Jesus and the Holy Spirit are not created but are rather the eternal same substance as God; therefore, the consubstantiation of the Trinity.’ This is entirely in conflict with the Arian contention that Jesus was a created being, e.g., Docetism. Justinian was a devout Catholic believing in Chalcedon and the two natures of Jesus, and Theodora was a Monophysite believing in the one nature of Jesus.

Not only was Constantinople and the Byzantine Empire a church and a state, there was the unique and curious concept of “demes.” Before Justinian’s time there were four demes: the Reds, the Whites, the Blues, and the Greens. By the 520’s there were only the Blues and the Greens. A deme was a sports club, social group, political group, and the church all rolled into one. In today’s sense it is as though half the population cheers for the only the Green Bay Packers, belongs to only the Eagles club, is only Republican, and they are all strictly Baptists. The biggest sport by far was chariot racing, and this brought the Blues and Greens together in Constantinople’s 100,000 seat hippodrome. It proved to be less than prudent to crowd 50,000 rowdy Catholic/Democrat/Vikings/VFW fans in with 50,000 Baptist/Republican/Packer/Eagles fans. Justinian played the Blues off the Greens and the Greens off the Blues thereby keeping the heat off himself. It was at the chariot races that Justinian met Theodora.

It is difficult to comprehend Theodora came from an even lowlier circumstance than Justinian, especially in light of her becoming the most powerful leader on earth. Her father was a bear keeper in the hippodrome and her mother was a dancer/actress/prostitute. Theodora’s mother prostituted her at too young of an age to be effective. It was said even a slave could afford her. When Theodora was a little older, her mother introduced her to acting where she specialized in a bawdy performance of Leda and the Swan with the comic appeal of a mime. To be an actress often meant being a prostitute for after performance activities. At sixteen she left “acting” to become the mistress to a Libyan governor from Syria by capitalizing on her great beauty. She escaped from him 1,600 miles from home in Alexandria with the help of Monophysite monks. In her gratitude she asked how she could thank them. Their answer was to believe that Jesus had only a single purely divine nature, i.e., Monophysitism. Theodora learned the art of wool dying and made her way back to Constantinople.

At the chariot races, the highest and lowest of the population were crowded together. Movers and shakers would provoke their deme to riot in order to have their political agenda heard by the emperor. Justinian’s heralds would yell back the emperor’s reply to the crowd. Theodora was the most beautiful young woman in the land and caught Justinian’s eye at the races. To the disgust of the high echelon, Justinian carried on and lived with Theodora. By law he was not allowed to marry a prostitute, so just as soon as he became emperor, he changed the law, and they were married. Theodora was not just any prostitute, but one with an exceptionally keen mind. She learned to read and grasped philosophy, economics, administration, and theology. It was a perfect match except for the fact that Justinian was a Chalcedonian Catholic and Theodora was an Alexandrian Monophysite.

Theology was a most serious issue between the demes. The Chalcedonian faction believed Jesus has two natures in one being as Justinian’s believed. Theodora’s Monophysite belief is Jesus has one wholly divine nature. This theological pot boiled over in the second week of 532. Justinian’s fair tax reform so irritated some wealthy Blues that they switched demes to the Greens and lobbied for riots to take down the emperor. In 531 Justinian had enough of the Blues and Greens rioting to the point of murder. Low level riots could be chalked up to hooliganism, but enough was enough when it came to murder. Justinian made an example of the ring leaders by hanging seven of the Blues and Greens. One by one the trap doors opened and down they came – except for the last two a Blue and a Green. Their ropes broke, they landed on the ground gasping, and monks carried them away to sanctuary before

anyone realized what had happened. General Belisarius happened to be in town and had his personal troops surround the church to starve them out. The populous rebelled.

On January 13th of 532 a pent up crowd of Blues and Greens were at the races and hurled unified insults up at Justinian in his palace box attached to the hippodrome. By race twenty-two, both the Blues and Greens were shouting to Justinian “Nika” meaning to conquer, or win, or victory. The Blues and Greens were out of control and attacked the adjacent palace. For five days the palace was under attack, fires burnt much of the city, including the original Scanta Sophia, and hundreds died. Justinian sent his eunuch into the hippodrome with a bag of gold for the Blue section asking them to please leave peacefully reminding them Justinian was himself a Blue. Some Blues sulked out with their small bags of gold. Belisarius stormed in thru the Black Gate and General Mundus stormed the Nekra Gate and more than 30,000 Blues and Greens were systematically slaughtered by 3,000 heavily armed troops.

During the riots many suggested the court flee Constantinople. It was only Theodora that took a stand with her impassioned speech. She refused to run and become a fugitive. “May I never be deprived of this purple robe, and may I never see the day when those who meet me do not call me empress. … royal purple is the noblest shroud.” She held the empire together by shaming the court into staying put, the rioting stopped, and Justinian was never questioned again.

So what went wrong in Constantinople? Sure there were more taxes, but the majority of the population was probably very pleased the wealthy had to now pay their fair share. What really lit a fire under the citizens was this two natures or one nature of Jesus thing. The man on the street certainly did not understand it. Yet, Blues and Greens vehemently shouted at one another, “Our Jesus is One God,” “Mary is Theotokos,” “We will not divide God,” and “Christ is God.” (And, many clergy did not care to understand the homoousios or homoiousios aspect of the Trinity in relation to ek duo physeon or en duo physeon nature(s) of the hypostatic union and prosopon.) Over the centuries people became pretty excited about their religion to the point of clergy and kings burning people at the stake. But, was there ever a time when people went wild over the little “i” in homo(i)ousios or on not?

The Nika Riots were a different animal. Constantinople had an entire population divided by their convictions, even though they did not understand them. On the one hand, it was ever so far from the common sense teachings of Jesus in the Gospels. In another theological sense, it was ever so far from the Bible as a whole. C’mon, when did Jesus ever speak of ek duo physeon? It is absurd to think Jesus would choose sides to the point of rioting, or to think Jesus would ever define Himself – but man did.

Theodora the Monophysite, and Justinian the Chalcedonian inadvertently allowed religion to run amok. Religion aligned the Blue and Green demes one way or another taking them down a path to inevitable conflict. Theodora believed in a theological construct of Jesus that is simply not Biblical. Justinian believed in his non-Biblical creed that existed only because it won the day through bribery, coercion, torture, and murder. These two man-made corrupt versions of the Gospel permeated society to the point of lighting the fuse that literally blew up one of the most powerful cities in the world.

The story of Theodora and Justinian is fascinating and complex. It is the stuff fairy tales are made of. The little guy and little girl from horrid backgrounds find love and grow to rule the world. It’s a great fairy tale like story, but their theological baggage blew up that world. Religion ran amok.

The moral of this fairy tale is read the Gospels plainly without the weird and corrupting influence of theology that only runs religion amok.

Copyright 2021 by Greg Hallback

Tradition is Our Mighty Fortress

When Athanasius finished speaking on the Splendor of Tradition we headed right back over to the Seafood Buffet. We were as contented as can be! When someone suggested “Let’s get some more!” the idea was hailed as true genius. Some thought “more” meant more King Crab. The more spiritual types among us figured it was a signal that we should hear more about tradition from Athanasius! After some lively discussion we decided that these were both great ideas! Ath was always agreeable to speaking his mind so he quickly agreed to do another session. Then we all loaded up on more seafood! Everyone was excited to know that we were going to hear another great talk by Athanasius!

A Mighty Fortress Rocks the House!

It was an unforgettable experience to hear the majestic hymn “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” coming over the loudspeakers. Those magnificent bass notes shook us right down to the bone! It was just like having a huge pipe organ in the room! Pipe organs weren’t even used in churches until the 14th century so that made it even more impressive!  “A Mighty Fortress” wasn’t written until the 16th century and everyone loved the sense of majesty and awe it inspired. Finding out that it was written by Brother Marty (Luther) clinched it for us! It would be hard to imagine a more perfect beginning for what was to come.

Moderator:  Brethren could it get any better than this!? We have already had some great sessions, we have enjoyed great food and we have even played the strange game called golf! I don’t know about you but I wish this could go on forever.

Audience:  Let’s stay here! Let’s refuse to leave! We don’t want it to end! We love Las Vegas!

Chanting:   “We won’t go! We won’t go! We won’t go!”

Moderator:  I’m afraid God has other plans Brethren! The reunion committee that negotiated with God to get us here says that we have to go right back where we came from as soon as this Reunion ends.

Audience:  What a bummer! Booing. That’s not fair!

Athanasius… Our Doctor of Dogma!

Moderator:  It looks like we are stuck with the destinations we earned in our lifetimes but since we still have some Reunion time left we should make the most of it! Here tonight to help us do just that is our Doctor of Dogma and Top Dog of Triune Tradition, Athanasius!

Audience:  Enthusiastic applause, clapping, and shouts of welcome back Athanasius!

Athanasius:  Greetings dear friends! Let’s dig right into our topic. I plan on covering a lot of ground but don’t worry!  We’re going to make it back to that great buffet in plenty of time so you can all relax!

The Kingdom Belongs to God! Tradition Belongs to Us!

Everyone knows that God intends to protect His Kingdom! Many people have learned the hard way that we intend to protect and defend our traditions! First of all, let’s review some of the factors that can make traditions succeed or fail. Just remember that God protects His Kingdom and we protect our traditions! The Kingdom is His but the traditions belong to us!

We have learned some valuable lessons from the flawed traditions that caused Israel so much trouble. You can rest assured that we have wisely avoided those flaws with the traditions we have created. Two good examples of Jewish traditions that ultimately flopped are the prohibition against working on the Sabbath and the need for ceremonial handwashing before every meal. Let me explain!

Jesus Openly Challenged Tradition!

Jesus took His disciples through a field of grain on the Sabbath and they started plucking heads of grain (which was work). They started eating it with unwashed hands (because it’s hard to wash your hands in a cornfield). The religious authorities cried FOUL! but Jesus let them know their traditions didn’t measure up. His disciples were hungry and He cared more about them than a few rules. Jesus intentionally broke their tradition again by healing a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath! He did it in a synagogue right in front of God and everybody! Many people realized that Jesus was right and the way they observed traditions was wrong. A whole new religion was being established right in front of their eyes! Jesus had openly challenged their traditions!

Traditions Can be Contrary to God

Jewish traditions were so concrete it was easy to see how they resulted in calloused decisions down here on earth. Sometimes those traditions were totally contrary to what God wanted!  Higher quality traditions could have saved the nation of Israel a whole lot of trouble. We have carefully avoided the mistakes that caused Israel so much distress! I am about to show you the secrets of building traditions that can withstand the test of time! Trinitarian Dogma is without a doubt the greatest religious tradition of them all and is indeed our Mighty Fortress!

Audience: This is good stuff Athanasius! Tell us more!

Good Traditions Intimidate Average People!

Athanasius:  One secret of our success is that the tradition we built was not easy or even possible to understand! In fact, it is so incomprehensible that we don’t really understand it ourselves and we created it! Average people are so intimidated by our scholarship and intellectualism that they hardly ever challenge us! We easily overwhelm people who question us with arguments they are unable to understand much less resist. Confounding and incomprehensible complexity is our ally, our strategy and our friend!

The Greatest Traditions Are Abstract and Mysterious

Another secret of our success is that our trinitarian tradition is not the least bit concrete! It is so abstract that it can’t even be envisioned even though learned scholars say otherwise! Is that great or what! It is almost impossible for people to see how our theological tradition could be contrary to God’s wishes. The Trinity is an ethereal mystery that has virtually nothing to do with what we say or do down here! Nothing we do will never make the trinity itself look bad. People will adhere to the tradition we bestowed on them in spite of our behavior! That my friends is the hallmark of a truly great tradition! Israel may have blundered by developing concrete traditions but we got it right!Few Dare to Challenge Traditions!

Few Dare to Challenge Traditions!

Think about it! We have constructed a secure fortress for ourselves out of next to nothing and it has lasted nearly 1800 years! No one knows how to break down its walls and we are safely surrounded by theological traditions that few dare challenge or question! We are experts and we are in the majority! If anyone even thinks about disputing our teaching we laugh them to scorn, call them heretics or eliminate them! It is plain to see that we  have won the day! Behold what we have built!

From somewhere up above a voice was heard saying, That’s all well and good children but you should have built on something more solid than the sand of your own thoughts. Building on the words of Jesus would have been far better. “For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” But no one seemed to pay much attention.

Pomp and Rituals and Great Architecture!

Athanasius continued: Yes, yes, I know what some of you are thinking! “What about our pomp and architecture and rituals and hierarchy? Aren’t they important too?” The answer is “Yes! of course they matter!” These are things people get very attached to. They are useful  accessories that decorate the walls of our Mighty Fortress and make it look genuinely religious. We like them because they add a certain “Wow factor” to the tradition we have built. As far as all these other things are concerned, I say the more the better!

Now I want to make an honest man of myself and finish my remarks while there is still plenty of time to get back to that terrific buffet. Thank you all for your respectful attention! I’m sure going to miss these meetings when we have to leave this town.

Copyright 2021 by Bob Shutes

 

Golfing Reveals the Trinity

The Emperor Needed Some Fresh Air

The last session of the All Stars Reunion, A Road Less Traveled, caused quite a stir! The uninvited intruder left many of the attendees feeling rattled.  Others thought a social break was in order anyway and that right now would be a good time for it. The Reunion Committee decided some good old-fashioned rest and relaxation was definitely in order! When someone suggested a golf outing the idea was received with enthusiasm by one and all. Emperor Constantine had just completed his mental health hold and he clearly needed some fresh air and fun. A day on the golf course was just what the doctor ordered!

The Church Fathers Wanted to Relax

It’s hard to imagine what it must be like for an emperor to play golf for the first time, but we shall try! The day began with high hopes and good intentions. The “church fathers” had never even heard of golf but thought it sounded like fun. Everyone agreed it would be a wonderful way to relieve some tension and create good will. Little did they know! The whole group felt energized and exhilarated as the day began. The idea of golf was exciting but the reality of golf was something altogether different! (Readers who have played the game will know exactly what I mean.)

Theologians Competed for Preeminence

Tensions began to rise when the  church fathers tried to decide who would get to drive the golf carts. Many refused to ride with anyone whose opinions were other than their own. The Romans felt they should be first in everything. The Alexandrians were convinced they knew more than anyone and that they alone should drive. The Antiochians argued for the beauty and history of their fair city. The team from Jerusalem just KNEW that no one was more qualified to lead and Constantinople insisted on preeminence too. It never dawned on anyone that none of them knew a thing about golf!

Emperor Constantine Made the Rules

In spite of his golfing ignorance Constantine was to be the final arbiter in all disputes (just as he had been at Nicea)!  His decisions were final, authoritative and binding on all golfers. This was most apparent when he tallied scores after each hole. No matter how many strokes a player might claim, Constantine had the final say. This was especially true of his own scores. No one dared challenge the accuracy or math on the emperor’s scorecard! On the very first hole took nine strokes to put his ball in the cup but he gave himself a three!  Then he proudly declared that he had just made par on his very first hole ever!

The Logic of the Trinity Prevailed

A few golfers argued that Constantine’s counting was faulty but he silenced them with indisputable trinitarian logic! The emperor proclaimed that three strokes in play equaled one stroke in scoring! He said there was no difference between three strokes and one stroke since they were all of the same essence.  Therefore his nine strokes were actually just three strokes and did anyone want to argue about it? It’s pretty hard to argue with that kind of logic! A unitary score subsists in a plurality of strokes and these must not be confounded or distinguished. It was all very reminiscent of the arguments that held sway in Nicea.

Does One Really Mean One?

Some players foolishly insisted that one stroke equals one stroke and that the meaning of one is simply one. Not surprisingly this caused them to be banned from play and their scorecards were burned and taken out of circulation. Those who persisted in their contrary ways were removed from the course and never seen again. Players who wisely supported the emperor were hailed as true champions of golf and also enjoyed imperial favor.

The Golfer’s Creed

“Multiple strokes in essence equal single strokes in scoring and the final score is thus a true and single score. Those who would play golf must first acknowledge that this is the only true and orthodox rule.”  This became known as the golfer’s creed and is why it is so important to keep a close eye on other players. There was much uncertainty and debate about how a plurality of actual strokes could equal a single scoring stroke.  Just because words are supposed to have meaning doesn’t mean that they mean what they mean at all! That was the beauty of the golfer’s creed!

Words Lost Their Meaning!

A great deal of confusion also arose over the meaning of the word four. Inevitably this raised the question of when or even if, it was ever proper to shout “fore” after hitting a bad ball. Misunderstandings over words and ideas began to multiply and some proclaimed that confusion owned the day. Debate also raged over whether an eagle should be considered a birdie, a fowl or a foul. Is it legal to use a putter to put a ball closer to the hole? or is the time-honored foot nudge the only acceptable method?

The Blind Were Leading the Blind

By the end of the day it became clear that the “blind were leading the blind” and no one was any the better for it!   The Church Fathers were “ever golfing but never coming to a knowledge of the game.” All in all though, it had been a fine day on the golf course and at least everyone got plenty of fresh air and sunshine.

PS: Once you begin to grasp the implications of Trinitarian “Logic” lots of things begin to make sense! Even if its peculiar reasoning doesn’t make any sense at all we can still have some fun with it. May God Bless us all, each and every one.

Copyright 2021 by Bob Shutes