Marvel and Worship… or Analyze?

Jesus astounded those around Him with miracles. An especially exciting one was The Transfiguration when Peter, John, and James went with Jesus to a high mountain to pray (Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2- 8, and Luke 9:28-36). Jesus was transfigured by a great light and his clothes became white as light. Then before Peter, John, and James also similarly appeared Elijah and Moses. They were terrified at the sight and the voice of God when He said “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.” Jesus consoled the three and told them to not be afraid. They marveled at seeing Jesus in a heavenly light.

The great theologian Thomas Aquinas considered The Transfiguration “the greatest miracle.” This is as it ought to be. But being a theologian, Thomas could not leave well enough alone and simply marvel. No, Thomas, as theologians are wont to do, launched off into a statement about the hypostatic union opining on how Christ’s human body became one with the essence of His divine glory. This is brought up at length, and I mean length, in his impressive work Summa Theologiae. Specifically Thomas dissects The Transfiguration in his Question 45 which is answered in four Articles each of which has three or four objections and three or four replies to the objections. All together that is twenty-eight lengthy paragraphs (a lot longer than these) plus eight more points and commentaries. This is a long way down the bunny trail from marveling, but it has given theology students 750 years of headaches.

Most of the miracles Jesus performed were of healing – and bringing back from the dead cannot be topped. They, though, relate as much to the act of faith as the act of healing. When the ruler’s daughter died and the mother touched the cloak of Jesus, He turned and said, “Your faith has healed you.” (Matthew 9:18-26). Luke 7:11-18 describes Jesus raising the widow’s son from the dead. The onlookers did NOT analyze the hypostatic union but rather were filled with awe and praised God.

Other notable miracles were feeding the five thousand (men that is plus the women and children) with five loaves of bread and two fish (Matthew 14:15-21). Another time he fed four thousand (men plus the women and children) with only seven loaves and a few small fish (Matthew 15:32-39). Maybe the most remarkable was Jesus walking on water with Peter (Matthew 14:28). Let’s not trouble Aquinas with this one. Suffice it to say Thomas had an awful lot to say about what God knows and doesn’t know and the essence of His being. In the future we will have great fun with his Summa Theologiae.

Maybe we don’t know as much about theology as Aquinas, but neither did Peter. Some think it’s a wonder Jesus did not pick a disciple a lot smarter and more articulate than Peter. But, for some reason Jesus chose Peter to be a fisher of men. On a windy night Jesus walked on the sea out to the disciples’ buffeted boat. At first they did not recognize Jesus, but He called to them. To Peter He commanded “Come.” As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus he too walked on water. But as he looked to the storm Peter began to sink and Jesus saved him (Matthew 14:31). Then in verse 33 those in the boat worshiped Him saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

The disciples were awed by the power Jesus had over the sea and marveled. John did not say, “I understand your hypostatic essence did not sink in the waves, but how can it be, Lord, that your body stayed above the water? Does your essence dictate your substance?” It’s too bad the disciples were not theologians equipped to ask these pertinent questions.

The disciples, and those around Jesus, marveled at the miracles, were in awe of them, and worshiped. It was as simple as that. They did not pull an Aquinas and philosophically reconfigure a simple message using Aristotelian logic. They were simply primitive Christians that marveled and believed.

Copyright 2021 by Greg Hallback

The Opening Ceremony – Part I

Did the Church Fathers Speak Gobbledygook?

Church Councils

Planning a nice opening ceremony was a BIG challenge for the Reunion organizers! God had allowed everyone to attend in spite of the fact that they were all dead but there had never been an event like this before. There were no clear guidelines to follow. No one even knew whether the attendees had been granted a temporary pass out of heaven or hell or some other place that God had prepared especially for theologians! That was hard to judge because the church fathers spoke so much gobbledygook that it was hard to tell what they were really saying! More than a few Church Fathers were dismayed to see their opponents had somehow avoided the flames of hell. The question on everyone’s mind was “What good are all our excommunications and anathemas if they don’t work and God is merciful anyway?” It was no surprise that planning the Opening Ceremony was  a bit complicated.

People Got Killed at Church Councils!

Seating assignments were carefully selected to help avoid awkward encounters but feelings still ran strong and confrontations were inevitable. It was hoped that an orderly atmosphere would prevail but it soon became clear that the All Stars Reunion would look a lot like the chaotic and often violent Church Councils that dotted church history. One Council even came to be called the Gangster Council after one of its prominent Bishops was viciously beaten and subsequently died! At least in Las Vegas there was no real worry that anyone would get killed since everyone was already dead!

When all the participants were seated the lyrics of “Hail Hail the Gang’s All Here!” appeared on the giant screen and the audience sang it heartily.

            Hail, hail the gang’s all here,  Never mind the weather, here we are together!

            Hail, hail the gang’s all here,  Sure we’re glad that you’re here too!

Constantine Wasn’t Master of Ceremonies This Time

Emperor Constantine was the natural choice for Master of Ceremonies since he had been the de facto Master of Ceremonies at Nicea.  Unfortunately, he was still incarcerated under a 72 hour mental health hold and was unable to attend. To the great delight and frabjous joy of just about everyone, Lewis Carroll the beloved author and Patriarch of Poetry had agreed to be Master of Ceremonies on the first night of the Reunion! None of the Church Fathers had ever heard of him but they recognized him as a brother and true theological All Star as soon as he began to speak.

Lewis Carroll Thought Las Vegas Might Be Heaven

Greetings everyone! It is my singular honor and joy to have this chance to address you tonight! I am just as happy and surprised to be here as you are!  I had never even heard of Las Vegas until now. When I first saw all the brilliant lights I thought Las Vegas might be heaven, but now that I’ve been here a little while I know better! Nevertheless, the food is good and we might as well enjoy ourselves! It was a wonderful idea to hold this reunion! Let’s give a big round of applause to the organizers for all the work they have done.

Audience: Polite applause.

Gobbledygook and Trinitarian Theology

My dear brothers and comrades! You are important and famous and smart! I have read your works with great interest and done my best to follow your example. While my subject matter has differed from yours, my approach has been nearly identical as you will soon see. There is no doubt that you have very important things to say!  There is also no doubt most people have a hard time figuring out what exactly you mean! Some people even say that you, the Church Fathers, speak fluent gobbledygook! Tonight, I am a happy man, knowing that at long last, I am among friends who understand and appreciate my work in the same way I understand and appreciate yours.

Theologians Are Hard to Understand!

We use words most people do not comprehend to convey ideas that are only vaguely understood… if understood at all. You say things that are very weighty and you see things others do not see! We are those who seek to express what makes a great deal of sense to us but hardly anyone else seems to catch on! Shall we then be embarrassed if our words create amazement and befuddlement? No I say! and no again! Let us fulfill our high destiny! This is our duty and our privilege and our calling. Pile on the words I say! Pile them ever higher and make them ever more inscrutable if the situation demands it! To do anything less is a dereliction of duty! (To Be Continued in Part II)

Copyright 2021 by Bob Shutes

PS: Who would have ever thought Lewis Carroll might get invited to a Reunion of ancient theologians? But he did and we’re so glad he showed up! We only hope you enjoyed his initial remarks as much as we did. Part II is coming next and it promises to be a real delight. Be sure to take a look… and while you’re at it why not invite someone else?

Time For A Reunion!

It Was Time For a Theologians Reunion!

It was very late in the day (but before the Second Coming of Jesus Christ) when it suddenly dawned on us that the time had finally come for a reunion! We hoped the great theologians of the church might all get together in one place and explain things to the rest of us in ways normal human beings could understand.  Theologians just love to explain themselves so we had no trouble at all getting them to show up for our grand event. God even gave all of them permission to attend! Our hearts were filled with anticipation and excitement because we knew that at long last all the confusion about eternal truths would finally be laid to rest. What follows is the unabridged and unbiased account of pretty much everything that went on from beginning to end.

The “Church Fathers” Wanted Us Think Right

The ancient philosopher theologians we call “The Church Fathers” were a brilliant bunch! In their wisdom, they tried to lead us down a path of right thinking. But… is it possible that instead they ended up unleashing violence and hatred between brethren on a scale never before seen?  Our fond hope is that this reunion transcript will help us see things more clearly. Someday when Jesus returns He will reveal what He thinks about our religious traditions. In the meantime we’ll just have to do our best to figure it out all by ourselves.

Romans Thought Christians Were Enemies of the State

The early disciples of Jesus traveled all over the place establishing small pockets of believers around the Mediterranean and Europe. Eventually there were enough Christians to seriously annoy the Romans for lots of reasons that seemed pretty important at the time. They were known as enemies of the state who ought to be killed or at least tortured until they came to their senses. Persecution didn’t work very well though and Christianity flourished in spite of it.

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em!

Early in the fourth century a pagan emperor named Constantine ruled that Christians weren’t so bad after all and that it wasn’t necessary to kill them anymore!  It was a classic “if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em!” strategy. Until then Christianity had flowered secretly into a host of different varieties that co-existed in relative peace.  As soon as churches were free to worship openly trouble started. Who believed the right way and who was wrong? Who was a true Christian and who was not? Disputes between Christians became so intense that Constantine saw these religious divisions as a threat to the Roman Empire. The emperor just wanted an end to all the fighting.

Constantine Held a Church Council in Nicea

In 325 AD Emperor Constantine invited 3000 church officials  to a council at his summer palace in Nicea. (about 300 actually showed up) The idea was that they would talk things over and iron out their differences.  Then they would vote on a short statement of faith (a creed) that would become binding on all believers. Surely this would end all the conflict! What could be easier and more sensible than that? What could possibly go wrong? It turned out that a lot went wrong in a hurry!

The Nicene Creed Caused a Lot of Violence

The Nicene Creed they voted on enshrined Trinitarian dogma as the official dogma of Christianity. It also unleashed so much violence between believers that even pagans were scandalized by how much the Christians hated each other. To this day most Christians still solemnly recite the Nicene Creed every Sunday…. even if no one really understands exactly what it means. With these things in mind we could see that the only way out of this mess was to host the Theology All Stars Reunion! So that is what we have done.

Anyone Who Disagrees With Us Must be a Heretic

Heartfelt apologies are hereby offered to the disciples of any particular philosopher or theologian who may be offended by our humble reporting. Nevertheless we must press on and share this honest and accurate account of their lofty words and heroic deeds with you. Be assured there is no fake news here at all. No indeed! This officially authorized transcript is guaranteed, certified and warranted to be absolutely 100% accurate and unbiased. For this reason anyone who disputes this account is hereby declared a heretic, expelled from fellowship with those of us who have the right opinions, and banned from doing anything we consider worthwhile on behalf of or in relationship to anything that has anything to do with ANYTHING related to God. On the other hand, may God richly bless all those who agree with us.

AMEN

Let us begin…

Copyright 2021 by Bob Shutes